I'm On My Own

To be fair, totally fair, I think we have the answers. We know what life is because people have discovered what it is and how it works. The issue then for anyone who knows what the answers are is how to utilize or transform these answers into a working framework for their life. The most common error thereafter is a sudden interest in one’s fellow man or the world whatever you think that is for no one can escape seeing what is happening on the world stage and basically all around them, since it's not hard to run into. You can get stuck here, I think I did because it becomes difficult to reconcile your own life in relation to it. It’s not that we wrongly feel a need to express what we’ve experienced, and sure sometimes it does help someone else but we think wrongly that there’s something to do about some one else’s fantasies of life when there’s not. Why? Why would we want to? Because we wrongly think they can affect us when usually, they can’t. Most of the time you can just walk right around them the same way you would take a left if you saw an accident ahead, you easily reroute yourself even when it's right in front of you or in your face. Once you truly get a grasp of how alone you actually are, you won’t care two bits about any other images. To say that consciousness takes care of those who seek its understanding is probably the least understood phenomena but it does. Anyone truly interested in or seeking the actual Truth has absolutely nothing to worry about. The next clue is always waiting for you to pick it up. You may hinder yourself by paying attention to worldly goings on, I’m sure I did that to some great extent, but that’s just the pull, the force, that’s necessary to overcome. In some strange way, you’re actually draining the world of the charge or the hold it has over you. What is this hold? Something, anything, that feels true, until it doesn’t.

It’s strange too, because all the world’s religions or learned altruisms, tell you to get involved, save your fellow human being, or at least try to when this will only hold you in stasis to all the wrong knowing unless you are truly grounded in a new way of being. The idea that you know what’s going on with anyone else, and you should try to fix it, is totally misguided because what you see is just what you see. It’s not over there, but inside of you. Maybe there is something else over there, okay let’s say there is, probably there are other people, a lot of them, that’s not the issue, the issue is that you are always seeing what’s over there through a type of filter which is the dark and blurry lens that covers your own vision. That’s not just your eyes either although it’s all connected. Everything works with everything else. Your mind is telling you about what you are looking at while simultaneously producing what you see based off of what you expect and believe to be there. You can’t fully understand a dream, no one ever will, but you can know that life is one and how it works is basically an integration problem. A person can only draw sights or interpretation from whatever knowledge they’ve been exposed to, so whatever concepts or concept creating sensations your mind has formed from the moment of conception, these are always at play as long as the filtering lens is still intact or somehow hanging on, bits of it are still attached, suffice it to say your mind is like a giant billion piece puzzle where the shapes don’t match up to the spaces so you can’t just slip the pieces into the places you think they go and call it a day. Even when they seem to fit, let’s say the dimensions are exact, even then it’s often a mismatch. There could be a thousand different pieces that will fit into some slot, but each one is different and unless you swap them out, you’ll never know what belongs where. To be honest, you’ll never know anyway because what feels right today, can all of sudden start feeling very wrong tomorrow. We aren’t meant to stay with just one puzzle piece, the miracle is always that things are in constant motion so much so that this can go here today and tomorrow, it can go somewhere else or disappear completely, going nowhere, maybe the centrifugal force of the void has sucked it in never to be heard or seen of again. At the end of the dream, that will be all of us. Right now you’re alive so something’s still dreaming but eventually we all get sucked into the void and shoot right back to where we came from.

Let me say this another way. Whatever information you think you have, isn’t really there. I know you think it is, you think you know something is true, but you really don’t. Imagine with me for a minute that you know what’s going to happen tomorrow, you already have some plans so you know how your day will go or at least most of it, outside of the structure of your planned events maybe there’s some free time or unplanned situations but by and large, you understand the gist of your day, the one you haven’t even lived yet. So let’s say it’s night, it’s late and you’re about to go to bed. There you are going through your normal routine thinking about how much time you’ll sleep and all the things that will need to transpire when you wake up and continue on with your life. What are you really doing right then? Do you know? You’re programming your own mind to think and experience the same things again and again. All your ideas about your life are tied to your ideas of what kind of world you live in, but you don’t actually live in that world, because there is no world. There is nothing there that your own imagination doesn’t conjure up for you to live in based off of what you believe to be true about this place which isn’t even a place. You might believe in anything but that’s not what you’re doing, you’re actually beholden to how you think the world is, and it isn’t like that, because it isn’t like anything. It’s an empty screen.

That’s really how all governments control the masses if there are masses. It’s all spectacle. Maybe there really were wars once, I don’t know but they don’t need them now. The wars that get waged now are mental feats not physical ones. That’s how, that’s really why Jed’s writing on the moon landings is so significant, imagine if they would fake that some 70 years ago, what would they fake now? A few AGI missiles blowing up over a realistic landscape, a closed oil passageway that prevents the fertilizer and other stuff to get around, and you’ve got a working disaster, not just for your imagined enemies but for everyone. There was a big news item going around for a while although now not so much. Probably it was all just my own imagination, but I heard the prices for everything were going up. I went to the store and my money could only buy a few things or the bill was double for what I was used to getting. It must be true I thought because I was experiencing it. The government was spending millions of dollars on missiles and that money spending was driving inflation, the masses would foot the bill by paying double for everything. If the fertilizer doesn’t get through the strait of Hormuz millions of people will eventually starve to death. I heard that too, many times by now. Gas prices would also go up, and since food is transported, the cost of food would rise with the cost of transporting it. Whoever is selling the food isn’t going to take a loss, no they are just going to charge more because if they don’t, maybe they go out of business or they’re not getting rich anymore so what’s the point, they probably have enough money to live out the rest of their lives like a king already anyway.

So that’s a world view, that’s a world construction in your own mind. You believe it is like this because you believe it’s true. It’s an easy story to believe in because you’re not alone in your belief, millions of other people believe it too (maybe, we don’t actually know this) since this is the common story. Most people live their entire lives in service to it and never escape its hold over their own mind and imagination. The idea that you are solely responsible for what you believe is true because nothing is around here seems ludicrous. Surely, you must be beholden to consensual reality to some degree. Could you actually break out of all of it? Can you gather enough force of mind to free yourself of the delusion which seems to be all around you all the time? How would that work? What kind of force of mind would you actually need then? Is it mental force or physical force or some combination of the two? What would really be required of you? What steps would you have to take? How much would you have to focus and on what would you direct this focus? What are you really made up of? How much power over your attention, your imagination, and your life do you really have? You can only answer these questions for yourself but answer them you must if you want to be free.

So just where does all this shit live anyway? Is it just in your mind? Is it in your body? In your very tissues? In your energy field or configurations? Where the fuck does it all hide? Is it only thinking? Or is the whole system actually now part and parcel of what you are? What about your emotions and sensations? Are those skewed? Maybe it’s better to ask what isn’t upside down? What if any clarity is even left? Is it the love that lives in your heart? What about grief? Is that natural or again misguided? What pray tell are you really working with? If you’re like most people, to find this out you’ll go right back out to the bullshit channels to find your answers and be bullshitted all over again. “Life is love”, you’ll learn. It’s kindness, compassion, and selflessness. Forget about yourself, forget about your life, it’s not up to you, just let go, don’t do anything, now there’s a nice directive, because unless you do the math, you are right where you’ve always been and that’s where you stay. If it’s not up to you, then what the fuck do you have within that will break the fuck out? No, that’s not what they want, no one actually wants this, the meditation teacher really just wants a nice world where everyone is nice, but he doesn’t want to know the actual Truth. He doesn’t want another world, one that doesn’t adhere to the rules he already knows. He really just wants to fix the one he already knows. He’s not going through the dark hole in the center of his being, he’s just filling up his bullshit container with nice sounding shit and that’s what he wants for you too, then he wants you to thank him for showing you how to do it, but this isn’t about trading one illusion for a nicer one, it’s about demolishing all illusions. Your freedom isn’t up to some God because there isn’t one. There is no entity up in the sky or out among the ethers listening to you and bestowing gifts for nice sentiments. The mean ass people of the world manifest just as easily as anyone else, and usually better, because they don’t care as much or not at all. Those without sentimental emotion are usually more sure of what they are doing and what they want out of this life. They can focus precisely because they don’t care how anything affects anything else. I’m not saying that’s the way to be, but it does point to what’s in the way, your doubts, your guilt, anything that sucks or pulls your own power of attention weakens not just your resolve to break free of this illusory world but it ties you to causes and concepts that rely on the fact that you’ll never actually escape.

If you really stop to think about any of it, you’ll see that all of spirituality and religion is designed to lock you down, not free you up to see and live the Truth. It does make you wonder what’s behind all the deception, whether we are born just naturally inept and blind or whether there are forces at play specifically designed to keep you locked into a world view that will then be able to use or harvest your ignorance and subsequent misery by forcing you to live out a lie. If humans have one thing in common these days it’s the ability to shut out anything no matter how blatant or in your face it is. It’s almost as if the whole world relies on wishful thinking to keep what they don’t like out, but does it work? No, not at all, and they still cling to it. I don’t think you can actually find a rational human being to talk with unless you specifically know they are seeking the actual Truth and nothing else. It’s almost as if the ordinary human life is now specifically and purposely designed to plunge a person into shit, not every once in a while but on a daily basis, but is anyone the wiser for it? No, they aren’t even looking for an explanation, they actually accept that life is for shit, and that’s just the way it is, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, so buckle up and don’t complain, life is a living hell for almost everyone, just accept it. You’d think this was bad enough but apparently not, if and when anything goes wrong, you’re to blame, you caused it, probably you wanted too much. How often do we hear it? You should just humble yourself and be happy with shit. What kind of inspiring message is that? Your natural inclination is not to settle, but the fact that you’re not is a sign of weakness not strength and observation. If you even insinuate that life might be something other than we learn it is, you’ll be put in therapy to get you back on the shit track, you’re probably just missing something like being assimilated into the herd. Look at how happy other people are, this is clearly just a you problem, now have I told you about gratitude? You should be grateful and accept, and then you won’t bother yourself too much with all these other ideas. If you can’t muster this, we’ve got some pills for you that will bring it on. Forget about what you’re really thinking and feeling, and never express that, here on planet earth if you want to be happy, you’ve got to be like everyone else, turn yourself off and check the fuck out.

A character who feels secure never wakes up, why because he doesn’t have to, he can live his whole life never questioning anything as long as the story he learns or learned is satisfying enough. You really have to have a certain concern about your life, about time, and about death, some feeling some sense that you haven’t gotten what you came for, you’ve missed something vital. That I think is the only way, but what are you missing? Probably your life is hard on some level, either emotionally or financially or even physically but usually these are all interwoven on some level. To wake up you have to be one of those characters because your motivation factor doesn’t have to be high, it has to be off the charts. Even when things are hard, most characters don’t have the capacity to think about it. I don’t know what type of dream world they live in but whatever it is, it’s solidified permanently. Life is as they know it, and it never deviates from this position. Getting or doing what you really want to do, perhaps what you were actually designed to do, never factors into it. They will shuffle along with the herd no matter how weird that path fucking gets, think 6 feet apart and roll up your sleeve or let me tell you about your enemies.

Life should be peaceful, but really, should it be? Where do all these shoulds really come from? We learn them right? Nothing about life has ever been peaceful and yet we’re still striving for that? What for? So we can sleep peacefully and not be bothered with all the adventures we might have gone on, what with all the dangers, the trapdoors we might slip and fall through, the monsters we might encounter, the things we might have to out run. No, there are zero adventures happening in our prospective learned realities, get a job and pay your bills, sleeping in your little but luxurious bed in your little apartment isn’t an adventure, it’s a mind numbing routine that millions upon millions of clueless people can’t figure themselves a way out of. Anxiety and fear are useless emotions and you’re defective if you have them, please come see me in my office, I’ve got the prescription pad. What if fear and anxiety aren’t useless emotions? What if they’re really a source of fuel you might use to propel yourself up and out of the mire of countless uneventful life scenarios? Would you like them then? Would you say, give me fear, give me some unsettling, give me uncertainty and danger, anything that will shake me from my slumber, give that to me? Would you ever say, “Don’t let me be comfortable. Don’t ever let me be satisfied as long as I’m still alive”?

No? I didn’t think so. I’m on my own out here. I’ve always known it.