Life Dreams Itself

I think when you are asleep but think you’re awake, one’s whole life really goes between being in the flow and being in resistance. The former is obviously where you want to be and the later means you’re basically being tossed about like a tiny ship in a very imposing ominous ocean. There you are maybe on a raft with your arms furiously paddling in some direction as these huge swells rock you to and fro. Your mind equates this with survival because you don’t know if it’s just going to stay this way or if off in the distance a storm is brewing to really make your ride some hellish fiasco. I’m not sure but I think that’s most people. If it’s not then they must have some innate ability to convince themselves that whatever they are using to power themselves towards something is actually working and you know it’s great, they will get to somewhere someday. I don’t think most actually enjoy the ride, at least, they don’t look and act like they do, but what do I really know about anyone else? Maybe nothing. Maybe, no one actually sees into anyone else’s life adventure, we think we do, but it’s our own thinking that tells us this, not anything else.

Regardless of how anything looks to me or to you or to anyone, or how we interpret it, what if it was all exactly as it was designed to be? What I mean by this is what if none of it was random and somewhere off in some other sphere of understanding that we can know nothing about, it’s actually all perfect, not a single experience out of place? That would be crazy right? It would insinuate that all the world’s suffering was a perfect pattern designed to bring itself maybe from the depths of pure ignorance or blindness into some full understanding of life itself. I wonder if that’s possible because maybe what isn’t? I know I’ve been taken aback and completely surprised by the way things sometimes go, not when I’ve planned them a certain way, but when I actually think something else, often something not so nice is going to happen. Instead, it’s almost like a wake up call every time, sort of a silent message that calls out to me, “Relax, I’ve got this. It’s all already been handled.” Yeah, when it first starts happening you almost don’t even trust your own mind. That’s really the crux of it right there, what has happened to everyone. Most people live in a devastating sense of self doubt almost continuously where they are constantly bombarded with a sort of this or that situation, and they think wrongly that it’s up to them to decide when this isn’t actually what’s happening at all. I can tell you this: if everyone trusted their inner voice and visions from the beginning almost nobody would be doing what they are right now, nor thinking the thoughts that they probably do but once fear gets in there, it’s another story altogether. So if you don’t get this fear out, then you go down a path that will eventually get rid of it for you, or at least try to as it will hammer you with the same sensation until you either investigate what’s going on, conquer it, or just continue to suffer its effects as if it was just bad luck or some inner deficiency.

On what you do see, and what you think that is, there are always two possibilities, one is that you are seeing an ego based reflection which just means that all your inner beliefs both conscious and unknowable have coalesced into a tapestry of events and appearances which you interpret as something called “your life”, or you really are seeing some phenomena that has insidiously enveloped the world’s population to some degree or other which has resulted in a type of majority rules appearance based reality. One might interpret any idea in two ways then, one is you see the world is suffering because you believe most people are under a spell and there’s a lot of evidence for this view, or you don’t see any suffering because inside of your own configuration you’ve eliminated and purged yourself of anything that leads to it so the world you see doesn’t contain it. This is really the crux of how now you will still be in the world but not of the world. You still have to live in the dream state because that’s the only thing to live inside of, but you’re no longer actually involved with anything it does, you’ve now veered off onto your own path and this path is solely yours. It’s not influenced or bothered by other peoples hallucinations or actions, on some level you know that whatever you do see or come in contact with is part and parcel of some highly intelligent design that not only produces your life now but is constantly flowing in and around everything everywhere all the time. Once you know this most completely, you’ll invariably fail to resist life, which in turn accelerates how easily you flow within it.

This is basically something we are born with, we don’t have it as children, we are it, and then we lose it so we have to relearn and reclaim it. The whole returning to a child’s view as it says in some religious texts holds some weight, but you’re no longer a child either. A child can be fooled about a lot of things that an adult isn’t. So it’s not about what you know although what you know can either hinder or help you, but it’s a feeling state, a relaxed and released state in which a sense of wonder is now most prominent over all other forms of interpretation. The most marked feature of this state is a deep sense that things are right, that in fact wrongness doesn’t exist, and never did. The idea that wrongness is only a feature of thought based hallucination must be clearly seen and internalized, not because you like the idea, but because you’ve seen it’s actually true. This is where your sense of control evaporates, not because you are a passive observer, and can’t decide anything, but because your own mind is somehow privy to information it wasn’t before and you know that it will serve you. You trust it not because you think it will give you something but because you know that it works. What does it work for you might wonder, basically everything, it’s not about you, it’s just life knowing what it’s doing. Control then isn’t the issue, navigation is. You are able to flow in and around things without friction. This might be facilitated as easily as knowing when to keep your mouth shut, which is basically all the time if you’re out and about, or developing a sense of non involvement with the outer world. There are actually many features that thought alone has nothing to do with, such as intuiting that you’re meant to go one way and not the other. A good rule of thumb that has served many for as long as we’ve been here is that if it causes any sort of harm at all to yourself or others, you’ve veered off into delusional ego territory. Misinterpreting this message however can lead to passivity, where you don’t do anything and that’s not it either. From what I can tell, there’s always something to do while you are alive, in fact, that’s the whole point of existence, experience is what you’re here for. You are the sole mode of entertainment for the one beholder so I wouldn’t just sit there. There’s something within each beheld that can be called one’s authentic journey, most aren’t on it because of delusion but maybe everything that goes down is designed to lead you to discover what this means for you. Pain and suffering isn’t bad then, it’s just a tool that exclaims you have probably veered off track and might be going the wrong way. Of course, any person that wakes up will come face to face with not just a little of their own stored up inner pain but all of it. You can’t really be squeamish about it then. Seeking comfort will only prolong the process if you’re actually in it. In the end, you won’t even be looking or thinking about all the things that life didn’t do, but the things it did. When things seem to go wrong, it’s prudent to discover what didn’t.

I would say that there’s only so much you can take at one given time, we do have a pain threshold which is how awakening isn’t an overnight ordeal but a lifelong process of elimination. You’ll go in and out or be on and off again for many years. The main obstacle is always the currents of worldly thought and normalcy, you probably won’t break laws, but you’ll definitely break norms and while you’re going one way, the whole mass of humanity might be walking in the opposite direction. Maybe there you are with nothing left to fight with while all the You Tube videos are recording man’s animosity with the other. If you just look at the Fauci trials going on right now, how millions of people are watching them, and what are they learning while they do? Blame right? Maybe they didn’t want to get the Covid shot and they lost their job over it, or they were convinced or coerced into getting one and now they regret it. Now there’s something to blame, whether it’s the doctor or society at large, the scapegoat is always the mind’s way of not wanting to take full responsibility for one’s own life experience whatever that was. Blame is just one mechanism that must be released, but there are really thousands, possibly millions of ideas that seem normal enough but have no business here. In the beginning, these fall into degrees, and then are eliminated entirely. I hope you can see how this wouldn’t happen all at once, they descended and were recorded within degrees of experience and they leave the same way. If I had to say one thing about this process, it would be that it is thorough, it leaves no stone unturned, and nothing left to chance or anything else. Usually course corrections rely on pain, because anytime you don’t like your path, you’re not actually on it.

So yeah, where were we, I don’t know. I have no agenda here other than whatever pops up for me onto this page. Maybe it’s just for me, I can’t really tell anymore but the fact that it’s here where you can see this, I just say, “Whatever”. I don’t get involved with that. I used to think, “I hope they get it”, or even “I hope they like it (gross)” and now I just don’t care. I see that getting “it” isn’t anything either. It gets a little murky beyond the confines of “this should do this or that”, because to be honest, whatever anything does is really none of my business. I’d say you are your business and that’s about it. This writing is really something I started with Jed (Invisible Guru) and just because we think he’s gone somewhere doesn’t mean he has. We get a lot of things wrong when we want to, but I’d say just because you don’t see something doesn’t mean it has ceased to exist. Ramana probably said it best when he was dying and his followers were crying, “Don’t leave us”, and he replied something like “Oh my dears, where would I go?”

Many years ago, my son gave me a necklace and pendant. It was a heart locket and when the chain to my other necklace broke, I fished it out of my jewelry box and started wearing it again. I didn’t even remember I’d put something inside the locket, just this tiny scrap of paper that reminded me, some things never fade, they are here, and it’s only we who forget about them. I don’t know if you were a part of the Series, but Jed has some contemplations he recorded and I sometimes still listen to them. Number eleven I think is highly relevant to almost everything because he describes a process of being that can go from just watching what you do, which he calls TR, while at the same time simultaneously being able to engage your inner dialog which asks, what should I do? Then it tells you a story about whatever situation you are encountering and tries to make an argument for one way or the other. If you get lost in it, you could actually go around and around in circles over everything but it’s not just one way or the other either. You don’t lose your ability to engage with the reasoning voice inside your head. What really happens is that now you know your reasons for either side aren’t actually true, so neither way makes actual sense, and so you go back to the only thing that does, just seeing what you do do. You’ll know by then that no way is actually right because no way is actually wrong. The character doesn’t disappear completely, you still need to fit inside it if only to walk across the room, otherwise what are you? You can’t be nothing, not while you’re still alive, or dead for that matter, you’re never actually nothing, you are the singularity. What is the singularity then? Right here, right now, it’s just a word I used, what popped up but, I could have said dog and it would mean the same thing. I can’t explain this part. I don’t think anyone can, but some get closer than others.

If life is a dream, and what we focus on with our fueled emotion becomes our lived experience or at the very least influences it, then how does it get to the point where it sucks so much? Why do we use our lives to look at so many horrors as if they were just a normal part of life and maybe not something else, something freakishly strange? I watched one episode of some show called The Pitt that my daughter is watching these days. It’s a hospital show, something along the lines of Grey’s anatomy but without all the drinking and sex featuring prominently. It’s very engaging in that it sucks your attention in to the point where you’re basically checked out of your own life for the time being as if you were maybe taking some needed break from it. I wondered then if this is really how collectively we start to think that medical emergencies are a normal part of existence, not because they really are but because we become attuned to things just by watching these ongoing stories on TV that portray them as such. A person should really guard their attention and awareness then, if we were smart maybe we’d turn away from such things and many more, and never look back. Most people never ever even suspect that they are submerged into a world story, a life story that is complete and utter fiction because that’s what you really see, it is all just a fiction, a contrived story and narrative that has by now taken on a life of it’s own. Humans invariably create the stories and then live within them.

Personally, I’d like to write a new story here, maybe one so unique and fulfilling as to defy everything I ever learned about life. I don’t know if I can do it but it begs the impetus to at least give it a try. What’s most strange is how I used that word “impetus” right now and then I had to look it up because I wasn’t sure what it meant, but it fit perfectly, probably better than any other word I might have used. That’s the actual movement, to just allow what comes up on its own, from who knows where, life inserts itself in ways that we don’t actually know about while we are doing something. It’s almost as if life has a life of its own, and all you really need to do then is to get out of its way, thereby allowing it to create what it will because it will always do a better job of living than you will what with all your baggage. It seems like a very weird thing, because it’s some type of letting go that is far beyond anything you ever learned about the term “letting go”. It’s almost as if you have no hand in it whatsoever and at the same time life is feeding you these lines and these motions, just these fingers that somehow move to write words that I’ve never even contemplated thinking about, not once that I remember. I could just sit here now and let it go and go and go. I don’t think it would stop, or at least it doesn’t seem to. All I can really think about any of it is I guess that’s what it wants to do here, for what? Maybe for nothing, just because it can and maybe now, I can let it. As long as words appear, I will let them be written. The content isn’t important, it’s just the movement that moves itself that is maybe actually life as it really is.

Here’s your song. I found it many years ago and listened to it without even knowing what it said. Tonight I found this video with the translation, and wouldn’t you know, it made perfect sense to me. Some things just do.