Spectacle

So we had these elections here, and apparently the democrats, which let’s be clear for our purposes is just a word, there’s no such thing as a democrat or a republican, these are just superfluous labels that are part of the political game, but anyway, it’s seems to be some sort of upset there. They are on social media speaking about their wins, how the will of the people has spoken and all that garbage. I feel I need to point out here for some reason, well yeah, there’s no real reasons either, just what’s coming up today, that all this spectacle is really a social barrier to be overcome in one way or the other. Let’s just say these fantastic stories occupy space in the minds of millions and it’s precisely this occupation, that really robs a person of their own spaces, because something superficial and ultimately untrue, completely false, has taken up some residence in their minds. Underneath the charade, is this fantastic idea that these others, or those who hold some social position, have some influence over your life and what happens with it. Insidiously, this belief really robs a person of their own agency to some extent or the other because it forms this imaginary structure that claims it has come to save you and millions of others from the ideas of the other side of the box. You can see how there’s still a box there and the idea that others control your reality to some degree. They will determine the rules you will live under or even for. The real issue is that if you think or believe, this is a belief really, that some facet of an imaginary outer world, is coming to help or save you from anything, you’ll just sit there and wait for that to happen. Of course, it won’t happen, it never does, because that’s not really how reality works. No one else has anything to do with your reality, you only get sucked into this idea, and maybe suffer the constraints of it, if you believe without reservation, that it’s true. And that’s just one example, a very obvious one, the others are much more ingrained and you don’t even notice them.

If you think about interpretation for instance, what is interpreting? Interpreting is the art of explaining, of making some sense of, or translating something into a form of meaning. You are interpreting anytime you say, “this means that” which is basically all the time, everyone does it, not just with big events but with everything. This is really a hurtle to get over if you ask me because in actual reality, the one outside the box, this doesn’t mean that, it doesn’t mean anything, in fact, you can’t explain it. I’d say that you can get to a point where you don’t need an explanation, it’s more like, there you are, all this stuff is going on in your life, some you like, some you don’t, and that’s all. None of it is an end all unto itself. Basically, you have to get over the idea that there’s even a day you are in or a path you are on. Being on a path implies that you’re interpreting some sort of trajectory, but what would happen if you didn’t have an interpretation of this trajectory? It, and when I say, “it”, I mean your attention, might veer off in a completely new direction, one you’ve either never heard of or even imagined. The point is if your own limited interpretations are in full operating mode then that’s all you see. Your own attention is glued to that, it’s looking for signs or events, perhaps performing actions that coincide with some interpretation of life that you made up based on false information. All those cheering fans for these political figures, are really saying they accept reality as they know it already, and that’s how it never changes for them. It’s really just something to burn time with, but why burn your own time on shit that isn’t true? I don’t really know. I have no real explanation for that other than we learn to do it and the whole world appearance relies on the fact that we do. If we ask why it does this, there’s no answer at all. Just one thing is however clear, something everyone should really know first hand, and that’s that words don’t change things, dialog, even when it leads to action isn’t a game changer. Change, real change, is only ever energetic, it lies below thought, and unless billions of humans were to reach into this domain, all human patterns remain fixed in place forever. The outward appearance that these patterns take changes, but that’s all, nothing else, therefore they are still the exact same patterns that have been with our species for thousands of years. That kind of seems dire, I suppose, but not really. Never forget there are many who enjoy these patterns. The only real issue is that there are many more that don’t.

Jed speculates that it’s boredom, the universe wants to be entertained, and maybe he’s right. Most truly spiritual people think there’s an evolutionary process going on, basically we have to pass through all this stuff so we can finally wind up with a world that’s peaceful, beneficial, or joyous for all who come here. I don’t buy that. That’s like telling someone if you sit quietly here for ten thousand years, at the end of it all, I’ll give you a chocolate chip cookie. Then you’d eat the cookie, and yeah, maybe it’s a great cookie, so many chocolate chips, very moist, or whatever, your taste buds overflow with delight, and five minutes later, or let’s say you took your time, maybe you got ten minutes, or you ate a tiny morsel every hour and stretched it out over the entire day, either way, at some point it’s over, and now you’re like, what’s next, and the universe says, “Nothing”, just sit there for another ten thousand years and we’ll see. If life is just accepting your role, whatever it is, whatever role you descended into, I’d say that’s a pretty silly way to live. Mainly, we have to forget the world completely, the way we’ve always known it, and then we get to see something else. You don’t wait for a fucking cookie if you want one, you go into the kitchen and make them yourself. Then maybe you eat them all up until you’re sick of fucking cookies, you never want to see another one, your stomach turns sour at the mere mention of them, that’s how I basically feel when I watch this whole social condition reasserting the idea that they’re coming to save you and your existence or how you exist. No one actually ever touches how you exist, your own mind is dreaming it up, that’s all it ever is.

The real issue with interpretation isn’t that it’s bad, it comes to us naturally as s tool. We need to be able to make sense of something or we’re floating in nothingness and nothing is anywhere. It’s that we learn to interpret everything according to one idea, good or bad. We interpret everything as if it has some connection to what we are, and usually who we are. We are constantly being pulled out of ourselves now by social media, and the whole, “Oh look what those people are doing”, instead of just staying with our own lives. Of course, most of that comes back to the fact that we believe we are dependent on others, when there are no others. How can I even say that? No others? What does that even mean? Well, I’m alluding to the imaginary nature of everything, even our own person, our bodies, our lives, all of it, being just a mirage of some sort. That there does seem to be some sort of intelligent agency behind it all can only be seen and really basically experienced only after you’re out of it. That being said, we need to interact with this invisible agency, not just sit on our laurels and hope for the best, or wait for something to happen to us.

The way I see it is there are emanations. The world is basically made of emanations, which are really just time laden visions. Our bodies which are a sort of energetic station have learned to see some things as being real or solid, both to the touch, and the mind’s interpretation. Most of us are stuck on a certain band of reality which really just means wherever we go, our functionality doesn’t change. It’s not that we’re actually hopping from band to band, all of which exist on a certain unchanging level of reality, but it’s something in us that makes all bands appear the way they do and how it stays this way. So any change in the outer is always going to be facilitated by a change of the inner, inside your imagination, inside the sensations of the body. Yes, we have to think differently, we have to create a new interpretation or none at all, but we also have to feel differently as well. If we don’t feel differently nothing changes. That is really the first hurtle, to feel inside the body, to feel the energetic currents of experience that basically took up some sort of residence and refused to dissipate. All of our interpretations can be traced back to some experience, usually a feeling experience that happens again and again, while the situations we see around us or find ourselves in change, the feeling we have while in them doesn’t. So that’s what I’m working on here, energetically. It’s a very feeling thing.

When my daughter told me she did well in reading but poor on math, I texted her this: When I was introduced to algebra in 8th grade, I thought, “What the fuck is this for?” and forty five years later, I still don’t know.” I think now it’s just some technique that appeared to totally scramble up your mind so already it starts to malfunction. Maybe, I speculate there was a selection process to determine who would make it into college and therefore come to occupy positions of power in society. If you could master the concepts of algebra, which is just a humanoid fictional system of interpreting the meaning of numbers, you passed, it meant you were malleable in way that others who couldn’t let it in weren’t and something didn’t want them going anywhere but back and forth to the factory. Perhaps only those with the potential to carry out some world wide plan to domesticate and ultimately remove a person’s ability to manifest and create so they wouldn’t hinder the wider plan rose to the top of the hierarchy. It sounds crazy but one look around basically already tells us that’s what we’ve always been dealing with anyway. A certain type rises to the top to control through influence the other types that remain at the bottom. Even seeing a crowd of people cheering for some political figure seems grotesquely crazy to me, I mean where are their own lives? Have they completely forgotten themselves and that they have a unique original blueprint that could never be developed by following anyone else? I guess so. We think we learn from others but we don’t. We can learn skills from others, such as playing the guitar or hammering nails, but we can’t learn what we are through mimicking others or taking on what they teach us in a linear fashion. Even if we learn some mechanics from someone else, it means nothing to us unless we make it our own. We have to transform it with our own originality or it’s fake for us. It feels fake, and we know it is even if we stick with it because maybe we’re making a living from it or people tell us they like it. Those are just more traps, guardians, gate keeper dynamics. There are many more such things that keep us fixated, mostly social structures. Any idea that someone else can see you is such a gate keeper. As long as there’s a social structure in place, you won’t escape. You have to drop it. You have to be alone, utterly alone not because you’re rejecting everyone else, but because you are, that’s your ultimate truth,. I think that is the only way, to see the shell for what it is, unreal.

I think on some level, none of this is a rejection process, since there’s nothing to reject, whatever you’d reject would be an illusion, and yet there’s a real sense, that you’re just done with all the concepts this world has to offer a person. Basically, you just let go because it becomes increasingly more painful to hold on to anything. Of course, you learn through experience that it just works better like this anyway so you’re really shooting yourself in the foot, which hurts, if you don’t. I wouldn’t actually say though that it’s a choice you’re consciously making, it’s really a matter of when you can shake free of whatever is still hanging onto you, these tensions, these directions of thought, ideas, or whatever have a sort of involuntary clinginess to them so it’s not that you didn’t want them gone, of course you did, but the process just goes the way it does, and who really knows when something, some part would thin sufficiently to snap off and away, or out of your awareness for good. Most of the time, if you think you’re rid of something, beware, because just thinking you are usually means you aren’t since you’re still thinking about it in some capacity even if that is to say it’s gone. Things seem to be very tricky and sticky for much longer than you’d ever choose them to be that’s for sure.

I wouldn’t call it love that you’re left with either. The word love leaves a dingy and dirty taste in my mouth these days. I think I love my children, that feels real, but love for something else, like some elusive divine power, that’s stretching it. It sounds nice, and it looks nice to an outside observer, the guru lighting incense or bowing down to an alter, it’s just more show, but for whom? Would a divine being if it was so divine need something to bow to it? To worship it above all other sentiments? That just sounds sick, it sounds like some jealous husband who needs his wife to prove her love by staying home and having dinner on the table at the exact moment he comes home from work or else, but or else what? It won’t love you back? These are obviously still just childish human ideals not reality. Will the present moment love you if you succumb to it? What does that even mean? What are you succumbing to exactly? Humans build shrines and meaning, not reality. Reality lest it be forgotten is indifferent, how else do all these shitty dreams go down?

I saw online that a certain guru type guy was going to be spending a bit of time in the clinker and I just thought, “Poor guy, he thought he was enlightened.” And you know maybe he is, I don’t really know but something happened to the guy. He had a real creative edge to the way he was able to speak and relate to stuff going on in the world and I guess before he was a type of rich alcoholic drug derelict. I know he thought he was being targeted precisely because he was so outspoken and hostile to the status quo of the social order. And he did call out shit that was blatantly and obviously contradictory to what it appeared to be. The hypocrisy of human power structures does become easily visible when you wake up. Was he just descended upon by a force of flyers? Let me just say this, even with crime, there is no one to blame. Whatever you dreamt up is as much a part of you as the things of your dream are. It is all one thing around here. Women as victims who have now received justice or vindication, does it not just serve to cement the idea that woman are or can easily be victims? Are women as a deemed vulnerable species only a belief, and does our belief in this only facilitate more dreams like this? And hell shit, where’s the one divine being in that? Tales abound of gurus using their women followers for sex, even some famous ones had some shady sides to them, the latest famous one having ties to some notorious guy with an island, I saw that in the news. Look I’m not here to claim at all that I know who deserves what, because I don’t. I don’t have the foggiest account of anyone’s going on. I just know that patterns linger in a type of energetic mesh that binds us to them, and dreams are woven and produced straight out of that. The idea that any of that is changing anytime soon is pure fantasy, as is, like it or not, everything. If anything, it is a clear testament to the importance of ridding yourself of any and all energetic tendrils that might emanate into a dream you don’t want. What was it Jed once said? Something to the effect that if you don’t like your dream, you’re just having a bad dream and even that, ultimately amounts to nothing. Even so, I feel always feel sorry for the children who have to get sucked up into all these dramas. If humans do anything, they should make this world a place for all the worlds children, that they can feel good. I’m sorry we don’t do that. I don’t think we ever did. Humans fail the children, that’s why this place is the way it is. When I have a tear to shed it is always for the children.

And so you let go, or it lets go of you. You walk among the crowds of beings as if you’re walking in a swamp of some sort, unable to speak candidly with any of them, for what might you say when they adorn all this costumery? You’re not talking to something or anything, you’re just talking to some fanciful idea that’s going on there, some cloak they’ve put on either to amuse or disgust one’s senses and it doesn’t matter which, either way it’s false, it’s fictional. Oh sure, they’re convincing but only so because they fully believe in it. There’s no doubt in their mind that not only is what they are saying true, but so are they. Of course, there is something true about them, but it has nothing to do with the stories they tell and there’s nothing to do about that. Their armor isn’t just decades wide, it’s ancestries deep. It’s all in there, this unbroken line of deceit and spectacle probably dates back to the very first human. Could you penetrate that and even if you could, why would you want to? What for? So you can have someone to talk to? You don’t even need this, you’re talking to yourself all the time anyway. If as a species we learned to actually think, and speak, for and with ourselves, the noise around here would reduce dramatically. In this case, the inner dialog doesn’t need to just completely disappear, it just needs spaces, times of quiet reflection where it might discern the true from the false. Saying it’s all false isn’t quite right either, for without some level of fiction, what would we live for? When we truly care or have a deep feeling for someone or something other than ourselves, there’s some actual truth being revealed, but that usually only happens between mutually equal relationships, and the armor isn’t for that. It actually shields against true communication, for it is cloaked in defenses that claim, I am here, you are there, this is mine, that is yours, I am up, you are down, I am more, you are less, I am right, you are wrong or whatever the scenario is. Maybe I say there’s a gap in thought, in our individual social constructs that is never crossed, in fact it’s never seen at all, that there is an unbending undeniable link between us and everything else. Once you cross it, you can never uncross it. It’s not that you have crossed over into a different realm, it’s that you’ve dismantled and seen through the false constructs of the only one there is, well at least for the purposes of being alive in this body. One’s whole experience is different then, but it’s not a shallow thing at all, the world of sociality is shallow, it’s a surface act, generally following or trying to follow the script of the false constructs of some worldly agreements but there’s no depth to it. In order for it to function as efficiently as it does, it has to be stripped of emotions. It’s really a very un-human thing we’ve built up. We can only really connect as humans when this depth is revealed, not shoddily covered up with social conventions. Maybe there are places, where people are more true to the inner forces of their genuine inclinations, but if there are a casino isn’t one of those places. I think I somehow draw it out occasionally, but if a person’s presence has any effect on the other, I might also be the energetic force that seeing through the costume so easily also induces it to add another layer, where’s my winter coat about now and all that. There’s some type of vulnerability factor to actually being seen for what you really are, mainly because there’s no convincing me of what I’m looking at. I know what I’m looking at all the time and the personality, the production, the roles have nothing to do with it. You’re basically stripped down to your very essence when I’m around, at least in my own eyes, that’s how they see now. You can tell me all about your story, but I don’t grab the hooks of belief that you’re trying to send out. That’s not a problem for me, but it feels strange to the other because there’s the sense that I don’t believe a word of it. Just by looking at you, I’m calling you out on your charade somehow. I’m not really sure, but I sense that some of them notice. Oh well, though, it doesn’t matter. Things do what they do I suppose, what might I have to do with any of it? And here’s the thought that sets you free. Nothing, I didn’t and I don’t do anything. Whatever I’m led to do and think, is beyond my actual control. Yes, these things are led or induced by own inner understandings, whatever they are in that time period, but these aren’t taken, they aren’t discovered, not earned, not learned, they are given, and you have nothing to do with how they are given or whether they ever appear or not. In some great and fantastic way, everything is a gift. We are but the recipients of it. While most beings reject it, or just can’t receive it either because they are otherwise presently occupied, or they have been taken over by other ideas, ideas that don’t let anything else in, some are lucky, I suppose. A ray of light gets through the murky mess of one’s life, it’s a real hit or miss there, since it’s like putting the last stick in a pile of pixie sticks and hoping beyond hope that the last weight isn’t the last weight, but there you have it sometimes it is and the whole illusory structure falls to pieces. In one brief instant, you see what’s going on, and just that tiniest of visions, a mere ten seconds, that how long most of them initially last before the world illusion comes in to fix the glitch, is enough to topple everything, eventually, usually it’s gradual. It’s the splinter in your eye that you just can’t get out, there’s no removing it since it isn’t in your eye, it is your eye, your real eye.

The Truth of all situations if you ask me is this: You don’t know what it will do. You don’t know what will happen. We bring our interpretations into what we are seeing, feeling, and thinking, and we make predictions based on these, but are we really predicting or do our predictions lend a type of unconscious creation to all of it? That to me is the real question: Where do our interpretations begin and end and what part do they play in life’s unfoldment? Because if what we think about ourselves and the world at large, doesn’t work, we should and can change it. We aren’t actually beholden to anything. There’s no real strings binding us, if there are, these strings live in us as emotional, mental, and energetic fibers that can be altered or even erased completely. The issue if there is one, is that these fibers, again time laden emanations of memory, are so numerous that you must continuously encounter them everywhere, and so this severing movement must be not only extensive but final. You must basically cut all ties to the reality you know as you know it, in order to experience something new. If life is indeed creation that means it will be something that’s never been created before, not just new in the sense that it’s new to you, but actually completely and utterly original. Of course, that’s just dream talk, it’s not the substance out of which everything is being created, the force itself, but and here’s the real rub, you need energy to pull out of the whole mess, and collectively we don’t have it. In general, our health, the foods we eat, what’s in those foods, how those foods came to be, along with our habits and the lives we lead, these things used to generate considerable energy with which we were able to create, and it isn’t there anymore. The mechanisms that produced this energy have gotten twisted, confused, even usurped, only the young have it in abundance and they don’t know what to do with it. The social fabric already has them, so that won’t work to free anyone, probably the most brazen of them that are out there demanding change will wind up in jail defeated with no one to spring them adding insult to injury and yet another pathology.

Yeah, it’s not good news for life as we’ve known it. Personally, I just don’t think so. I think there are dark days ahead, dark in the sense of a darkness no one has ever really seen before, a new darkness, one that claims if you thought the Nazi or Stalin movements were bad, just wait. I hope not, obviously I’d rather like to be wrong, dead wrong about what I see, but then I think of Dostoevsky sitting in some room writing “Notes from the Underground” and what has changed so far? Nothing. In my predictions, as far as energy goes, it’s fading us out. It doesn’t need us you know, that’s just some arrogance, no infinite force needs humanity for anything. I’m quite certain if it’s a matter of entertainment value there are infinite worlds in infinite universes out there somewhere who are beating us hands up at that endeavor. Suffering it turns out isn’t actually entertaining. I think what’s truly fascinating is the ability to which we are able to deceive ourselves even in the face of concrete evidence that is thousands of years in the making that we aren’t going anywhere. We won’t become better or happier or more well adjusted. It will never occur but you'd so much like to believe in a happy ending, when you know in your heart of hearts there isn't one and never will be. All the varied and diverse spiritual jargon in the universe thus far only eludes to this happy ending and never produces it.

You know what makes me happy? Petting our dog, maybe that’s the extent of it. The dogs know more than we do. If you have one maybe that’s your life line, other wise you can hook onto some other thread, some emanation, like the ones that wind out in every direction at the casino, a vast sickly mess of misery, the gambler desperately wants fate, the Gods, just something, luck, anything to favor it, and alas, it doesn’t. It doesn’t want to because it’s not wired for that and what is the dealer? Is he in a good position to stand and watch as millions of dollars burn through the tables but never to him? Is he but tasked with putting on a show that some might throw him a few bones so that he might carry on with his existence? Does the casino do him a favor by giving him the illusion of a job or just use him for some nefarious means to siphon money to some unseen entity that no one ever comes in contact with, the notorious tax exempt corporation and the few fat ones at the top that make sure it all gets counted and goes into the right accounts?

Please, the charade wears ever thin for me, going where? To where is anything going? What does it build but more for itself? The monster is bigger than the people, don’t be fooled about that, the flyers out number us 10,000 to 1. I think they always have because they multiply too off the energy they consume, and we give it as freely as the streams give life to the fish who swim in them. Soon there is no where you can even go to escape any of it. Your greatest asset is just the space within your own mind and maybe your own bedroom if you have one.

They say the greatest mistake you can make when going up against any foe, is underestimating its power and ultimately knowing what you are actually up against, but it knows you. You are completely transparent to it but maybe more on that later. This one is getting long, and new one likes start.